Lessons From My Parents’ 25 Years of Marriage!

I am very very grateful to God for making it possible for my family to see today. Like it has been quite a ride!
You see, the cares of this Lagos had made me forgotten about today. I even called my mom to ask her for something. It was after that call my sister texted me to tell me today is 24th. I immediately called my mom back and then my dad. Trust my mother, I received it hot hot! lol… like how could I even forget?!

So I did put on my WhatsApp status that I’d share random lessons I have learned from their journey so far. But when I spoke my dad, he gave me the permission to share here… so here am I!😊

Before I start with the lessons, I’ll just love to share a bit on how they met. You know, age is not a barrier to finding love. Saw some tweet by some guy earlier this week about a certain age a lady must find love, after which she is one her own and all that one kain talk. I was just pained that people still think that way.

Let me give a brief background about my mom. During youth service, my mom had one guy that liked her. I think the feeling was mutual but she was not going to commit till mama (my granny of blessed memory) approves. Anyways, mama didn’t approve because he was an Igbo boy. The fear of an Igbo boy was the beginning of wisdom then, I guess the were the #yorubaDemons they knew then (simply because they had little interaction at that time with the westeners)πŸ˜‚.
Mama wanted her to marry within their place. Last last, after too much begging, my mom decides she is not doing again. Abi? its sha not by force. My mom refused to bring anybody home again… she decided to be single for life :-)😎
Mama calls together them church elders to come and intercede for her daughter. Like if any aunty or uncle should visit the house like this, mama would bring up the matter. lol… After a while, my mom calms down and was open to love again (I still don’t know if she ever did give up… or it was just a scare-tactic)

How they met gangan😍

Both of them were working in the same bank. My dad was just a regular guy that’d greet her every time he passes by her desk (just like that guy in your office… enh, that one! ). As at then, my mom was internationalπŸ™Œ… she had suitors from the head office of the bank, one from Benin that used to bring things for her on weekends… and all over the place sha. My dad knew this. I don’t know how he decided to sha ask her…. since they were already friends, he just graduated to a nice friend.. before he asked her (this is for all those guys that won’t even know how to call someone’s name finish before they’ll start to do, ‘the Lord said you are my wife’)😡.
So he’d buy snacks she loved and drop by her desk… My mom will eat o, enjoy her life and from there, they took it to the next level.

When they told this story again some two weeks back (they always use it to tease themselves)… I rushed to my mom. “Mommy lay your hands on me! I’m tired of buying V.I food with my money😒”.. they were just laughing. I wasn’t o… I was tapping anointing.

Anyways… they got married. 25 years later, their second child is writing their love story.

Now the lessons…

  1. Age is not a barrier to finding love. By the grace of God, my mom was above 30 when she got married to my dad. And by the grace of God, she did not have any complications giving birth to all her children. In fact, they had their first baby in the first year of marriage. So do not listen to society and put yourself under pressure.
    You are not a failure if you aren’t married by 30. Follow God’s pace for your life and you’d be just fine.😊
  2. Sometimes what you are looking for in Sokoto is right in your sokoto.Β Love was resuming next to my mom everyday everyday… meanwhile she had her mind in head office, Benin amongst other places. Love most times would find you in the most unlikely places. Stop being to0 calculative and just be open.
    All of you that has that colleague at work greeting ten times every day, it’s not because he has no work o… those that also have the anointing of free breakfast, sometimes he may be trying to say something.
    I didn’t call anyone’s name o, you guys know yourselves.😜
  3. Love is patient. Over the years, I have seen my dad be very patient with my mom. My mom is quite dramatic and sometimes when things get uneasy, my mom starts to complain and act up. The way my dad handles it all with grace and patience is just worth emulating! Well done, daddy!πŸ‘
  4. Love is forgiving. Guys, marriage is hard work. I have seen my mom forgive over and over again. Both of them sef.. It is just amazing because even times when I am like.. ‘if i’m the one enh‘… my mom and dad forgive like plenty times in one day sef. And the way the move on thereafter is definitely worth emulating. I’m so still learning that part.πŸ™
  5. Marriage is sacrifice – you’d spend and be spent for one another and forget the records… sometimes your goals and plans would have to give way for the general good, especially on matters concerning the children.
  6. Never sleep separate from your spouse. My dad said someone gave them this advice on their wedding day and they took it as their sacred vow. No matter how angry any one of them is… all my life, I have never seen one person carry pillow and go to parlor or guest room or anywhere, they both sleep on that same bed. Many of their differences gets settled by morning because miracles happen on that bed. Amen?!
  7. Always Pray together. This is also another advice from their wedding day. Guys, If you live close to my house, you’d probably have us as your alarm system. Every day of my life between 4:30am and 5am, we have family devotion that can extend longer than that. Anytime there is a difference between them, even if the sleeping on the same bed doesn’t work, by morning once its prayer time, your heart must be softened because you can’t pray to God with offence in your heart. All my life, we have never missed that prayer time… and they are always there together… except one is out of town.
  8. Always eat together. This one enh… I don’t know if I’ll be able to adopt it o cos I have the funniest eating pattern ever. Anyways, my parents always always eat together. Most times, when my mom is still busy or doing something, my dad would always remain food for her even when she didn’t include her own portion. It is so bad that one time my mom traveled for about a month, my dad lost weight. He had difficulties adjusting to a different eating pattern. My mom also almost never eats if my dad isn’t back. She waits for him. i don’t know how this translates to a good marriage o, it is sha good practice.
  9. Do not allow third party especially family members come in between your marriage. Over the years, I have seen extremes in this matter in my family and we all learned from it. We are stronger as a family today because of such episodes.

These and many more lessons I have learned from my awesome parents.
Looking at them, I can only pray for God’s mercies – that He’d keep them and help them grow old together. I pray my marriage at the very least would be like theirs and even better. I pray for all my readers also… whether single or married, that they’d have happy marriages.

Much love guys!😍😍😍

Please as always leave a comment: wish them well and tell me what you think, what you have to add, something you aren’t cool with…. sha comment, they really always make me so so happy.

Thanks guys! πŸ™‚

Image: Source


29 thoughts on “Lessons From My Parents’ 25 Years of Marriage!

  1. Wow. So captivating and straight on point. My boo will definitely read and learn from this as well.

    Also, a little contribution:
    Right from your courtship days, write out values which your union should stand for and which you both believe in, so when you are eventually married to each other, it will now be what your family stands for.

    Thanks to your dad for granting you permission to share.

    Twas worth the read. 😍😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sisi Moren!!!
      First, I miss you oooo. Chai!
      And thank you so much for this. My regards to your boo too πŸ™‚
      You are so right on stating out values during days of courtship. It would be needed in the years to come.
      I love you sis… cheers!


  2. Wow yet another awesome one. So much humor in this πŸ˜‚. Reading your write ups always makes me happy 😩. First time I’m commenting in years btw πŸ˜‚ forgive me!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks a lot dear Remi!
    A big amen to that!
    Lol… Dad is igbo o. Last last,, she still married an igbo man and no, he didn’t show her pepper as grandma of blessed memory had thought. All the guys that kept coming were igbo and as I just had to be an igbo chic in this life (flipping my hair), my dad had to be igbo. Do you get this?
    lol…. Sha sha, my dad is igbo


  4. Just got around reading this…. great write up dear..

    Thanks a lot for the lessons…. We shall surely use them..

    Ehn ehn…. don’t you know that year there was no feminism when ya mum was choping free food?

    Liked by 1 person

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