My Stance on Twitter Feminism

feminism

The first time I was identified as a feminist was at the University. I had one of Chimamanda Adichie’s video on feminism on one of my drives. I was to collect some materials from a lecturer of mine. He saw the video and exclaimed, “And you are a Christian!…”

Now I hadn’t seen the video then and all I knew of feminism was establishing social equality of both sexes so I was a bit confused. I went ahead to watch the video and I was confused as to why he made that statement.

According to Wikipedia, Feminism is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, personal, and social equality of sexes. This includes seeking to establish educational and professional opportunities for women that are equal to those for men.

I love this woman. She inspires me. I feel lots of people have a single story version of her. But it’s all good 🙂 I love her still 😊😊😊

This is all I have known to be feminism – insisting on gender equality for women.

I became active on Twitter some months ago and I have come to see that they are a lot of ‘feminists’ who do not exactly get what it means. They are those of the #MenAreScum movement. Instead of gender equality, they actually preach hate against men in subtle terms. They turn every single thing to gender wars. You could be complaining about the rains and someone would go, “Men are scum…” It is exhausting to say the least.

Now I understand that a good number of these ladies have legit reasons. They have had the worst experiences from these man. I totally get that. But what I am against is using a sample of men to define the whole human race (male).

When you say things like #MenAreScum, it doesn’t sit well with me because I could sit you down and tell you numerous stories of women who are also scum. Men and women, humans generally can be scum. Scum is not a matter of gender or race. If you are scum, you are scum. It is not a “man” thing.

The most recent trend I am seeing is the one against marriage, belittling its relevance, reducing the worth and importance of marriage because “I can do bad all by myself”

I should state here that I am believer of Jesus Christ aka a christian. Hence, my world view is biblical, meaning I see the world through the lens of the bible.

That said, I would state that marriage was instituted by God, in whom is no darkness, hence marriage is good, After creation, God said to Himself, it is not good for man to be alone, so He created Eve and marriage was instituted. This post isn’t about marriage so I would not make it so….

But the bottom line is this, “Marriage in itself is not bad, some people have abused marriage and made ugly situations out of it but that doesn’t mean marriage is bad…” Marriage is beautiful when done rightly and selflessly, when each party isn’t holding to rights and they choose to serve each other in love just as God made it.

This fight against men, against marriage is a fight against the family structure and the society at large. I have come across various tweets talking about how all you need is your money and you can adopt a kid or two and live your life. This is not how things are meant to be….

I don’t buy the “I can do bad all by myself…” Fathers are very much needed.

My beliefs aside, let me share with you some interesting stats about children who grew up without their fathers:

  • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
  • 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes
  • 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes
  • 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes
  • 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes

You might want to catch your breath at this point… let’s look at children with fathers…

  • Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to get A’s in school.
  • Children with Fathers who are involved are 40% less likely to repeat a grade in school
  • Children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school.
  • Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities

Source

This stats is from the different units in the US but this can give us an idea of how these things work even in Nigeria, only we don’t do statistics as well here 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

PS: These aren’t even christian or religious families, It’s a mix of every kind of family and yet the conclusion is this – Growing up without a father is not the best for that child.

We see how this “I can do bad all by myself” attitude is unhealthy. A family is designed to have a father and a mother training the children to be useful members of the society amongst other things. The fact that one man or 10 men or 1,000,000 men have missed it does not cancel out the entire race of man.

Hence, you would hardly find me put my mouth in all these Twitter feminism talk. Not because I am anti-feminism. If you know me close up, you would call me a feminist. I am so pro-gender equality. I am pained when I see women sidelined, however if truth is to be told, we’d see how twitter feminism is tending towards hate games

So, what do I stand for?

I stand for gender equality – giving as much opportunities to women as you would give to. I often ask those who are feminists by bio, “What do you stand for?” Often times, they’d say, “Gender equality…” Then I would ask, “If you truly stand for gender equality, why do you give to a woman what a man deserves simply because she is a woman?…”  Truth is, I know some industries are male-dominated hence the preference of females to males regardless of qualifications to buffer the difference. I understand that… I also like the emphasis on training girls and empowering them and having all these nice talks and all that to push them to be more but I also ask (as a gender equality person), are we training our boys in the same manner? Or are we neglecting them? Are we pushing them as hard? Are we empowering them as well?

If we aren’t, in the next few decades, we’d realize we have powerful women who are well groomed, responsible members of the society and a group of men who aren’t as smart and exposed. The problem wouldn’t have been solved, we’d only have the tables turned.

I believe gender equality should be what it is – we should push our girl children and also push our boy children, we should train them to be human and compassionate and responsible regardless of their sex. And again, marriage as an institution is not the problem.

To wonderful men!

In conclusion, this is to wonderful men!

Men that are compassionate as they are strong,
Men that are not afraid to give a woman a chance,
Men who would not take advantage of a woman (or their fellow man)
Men who would love, protect and nurture his family,
Men who would rise up to the demands for sane fathers in the society,
Men like my father – an Igbo father of 3 girls who refused to bow to the pressure of taking a second wife because of a male child…)
Men like Oga Paulo (my father) who said to me, “What a man can do, you can do even better…”

This is to beautiful men,
May we know them, May we love them and May we groom them

Happy International Men’s day!

30 thoughts on “My Stance on Twitter Feminism

  1. How this article ended with an exhortation to the men baffles me. ‘marriage as an institution not a ….’ relate that to your topic ma. i think what differentiates the twitter feminists from the real feminists is the fact that our opinions still doesn’t revolve around men. i want to be an astronaut full stop. not if a man can be an astronaut why cant i. i really didn’t open this article expecting to read on the roles of a man in the family. don’t get ma wrong all that and the stats you pulled up are important but what is its relation to the subject matter?????

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Gigi!
      I see you’re new here… so Hi! 🙂
      And I see you don’t quite agree with my stance (maybe the topic, outlay, whatever…)
      I’m not sure this article is on the roles of a man in the family… uh uh, that’s not what it’s about.
      Also, I’m not sure I understand your last line.. but here’s the thing – this article is on MY STANCE ON TWITTER FEMINISM. It’s the vibes I get from on there that I’m speaking on. It may not be coordinated to you but that’s okay 🙂
      This post again is on my stance on Twitter feminism, what I perceive it to be vs what I think it really it is.
      Thanks again for the comment ma. It’s absolutely okay to not agree with my thoughts. Cheers ma! 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

  2. Ozioma👏👏👏👏whenever you come to Jos I owe you a bottle of zobo 👋👋👋 this is just excellent. I’ve been shouting this but since I’m a man they claim I don’t know what I’m saying. Thanks for speaking out against gender hate and blaming and division. God bless you

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Reading this just made me very happy. I used to feel ashamed of identifying as a feminist on twitter because of all those twitter feminist feuds. I really wish they’d come and read this to enlighten themselves about what the entire concept is all about… I just really love the way you put the entire post together. Kudos! I do have one question though and it has to do with this marriage thingy; you mentioned that marriage is a good thing and is an institution established by God. But it’s not compulsory, is it? I’ve never thought of it as a bad thing. Just wondering 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello Kwa! 🙂
      Hmmmm…. I used to really avoid the topic on Twitter too. Thank you so much for the kind words 🙂
      Marriage is a good thing… but it’s not compulsory.
      I’m a Christain, that defines how I view these things. From the bible, we see not all is meant to marry. Jesus didn’t marry, Paul didn’t also. Some have the gift of singleness and all that. So if you choose not to get married, it’s not bad. The unhealthy side is if your reason is ill…. maybe you’re resentful of a past event or men generally. You may want to see a counsellor and get help not so you can get married (it’s fine if you don’t want to) but so you can have a healthy mind.
      Thanks against for the comment dear 🙂
      Checked your blog too… Interesting stuff. Well done!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Equality for all, and marriage only to those, who want it! I understand your stance on this, but it should be everyone’s choice to live their lives, how they see fit.

    And honestly, we’re so far away from equality for all, that you really don’t have to worry about tables turning. Girls and boys need to be empowered, agreed. But boys also need to be educated about the privilege, they get from birth in the world, we live in right now. Patriarchy is everywhere, is structural. And if we don’t raise our boys as feminists and aware of their privilege, then it’ll be quite hard to change the social system, we live in. We can only change it with the support of men!

    Thanks for your view on this 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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