2018: Year of the HD
Why did I call it the year of the HD? Well, because it’s me! Okay seriously because I knew it was going to beget clarity for me. You get?
2017 – the year I resigned from the job I had worked for 4 years, 5 months and 24 days.
So I entered 2018 “jobless”. Oh the panic attacks that came from not being used to staying at home and waking up without the need to go anywhere. The fast heartbeats that happened even when I was all smiles. I actually thought 2018 will be that year everything will add up and did it? We’ll find out.
So I began the year like “God na me and you this year!!” We go finish every body!!! That was a joke but you get what I mean.
I told myself I was going to rest and get ready for what the year had to offer.
I searched for a place to learn User interface design.
I attended WAFBEC at Covenant Christian Centre where I got reminded that God was with me in my decision making process, because for some reasons I struggled with feeling resigning from the job I was doing was a mistake. I remember coming out in front of the church when they asked for people who could make donations of a certain amount in million and I did because I was confident that God we dey here together. Anyways… we still dey sha!
I was broke in January. I was driving to WAFBEC on Empty most times because it was not far from where I stay. I got cash later that month from the company where I had worked based on the cooperative society savings plan I started with them when I was a staff.
I survived January.
WAFBEC was still on. I was wondering what next I’d do after WAFBEC ended.
I was really hopeful this month. God and I were moving as usual. Can’t remember what the remainder of February was like to be honest but it ended well.
I was super sad about what was happening in my life. I remember March 1st like yesterday. I woke up dissatisfied with my life and was restless. I kept asking God, what should I do? I’m feeling somehow. I started praying and after a few minutes of praying, I heard God say “You don’t have to prove anything to me” That helped a lot. And I stumbled on twitter and realized that day was the day Social Media week started and I heard God say “Go”. Oh, the struggle!!! I’m not a fan of events like that but I decided to go and I remember saying to God “this better be worth it” And guess what, as I got to the place, a friend calls me and asks where I am and I tell him where I am. He did not know I just got to the venue, I mean everything added up. I met with people I just needed to meet. A friends IT placement was secured because I showed up and became the plug for her friend to intercede on her behalf.
I found where I would learn UI design online.
Same month I started with LifeGiva Consult as a graphic designer. That was another struggle for me. I thought I had creativity in me until it was tested. And yes, it was clear to me that that was the next thing for me. Remember the SMWeek 2018 event, yes that was where it was secured, I met the CEO of LifeGiva consult and we agreed on the employment start date. Well, it was without pay though but I did not mind. I was with family.
Things seemed to be adding up for me and it was also hard at the same time. Many times I was going to work at LifeGiva on an empty tank. But I did not mind. God bless my parents for the times when they just look at me and see the need for finance on my end. By the way, the money I got in January for the cooperative had finished. I spent it on worthwhile needs though.
I started my online UI course eventually.
I continued with LifeGiva and did a couple of awesome jobs. Not much though.
I was with LifeGiva for a few weeks and left for a paid job at another creative company. That was another hard decision. I spoke with my friends to know their opinion on taking the job. Well, the summary of their response was that I should take the job and if it is not something I want I can leave so I took the job. I resumed wondering how it would be. I was honest to tell them that taking the job was a decision that was difficult for me. The thing is, when I was told I got the job, I declined at first, they told me to think about the decision and get back to them before the end of the day (that was when I called my friends to ask their opinion P.S. My friends are amazing). I got back to them, I took the job. I had a good time at the new place, my colleagues offered to contribute weekly for fueling the car because we all stayed close. It was cool but to be honest I was struggling on the job. In my mind I thought I had the design ability but I did not have it as much as I thought I should have had. My design process was slow, I had to start watching YouTube videos to get better. Had to read up about designs again and made a few progress but it was not enough.
I began to feel out of place at this new place. I planned to forge ahead irrespective but I kept hitting a wall. So I was left the question, did I really love this design thing to be the best in the world at it? After thinking so much, my answer was no. Did it mean I did not love design? No. It just meant it was not that deep to continue as a career.
I resigned from the paid job at the end of the month.
I went on a retreat out of Lagos for a week. This was the month of clarity for me. I knew it was writing that would be my focus and that I was not going to do design any more. Design was not the main skill. I remember attending an interview where I did not get the job because my skill sets meant they could not afford to pay me what I requested but that interview was where I got clarity about the industry where I would fit in. I did not know it was advertising anyway, it was still vague. I had a good time at that interview, my life was being read out to me by people who have never met me before. They were suggesting things I could do and I left there really excited. I did so well at the job interview that I did not get the job. My parents thought something was wrong with me when I told them how the interview went. Lol, I laughed in God’s direction.
I used my entire saving to pay my fees for an Advertising School. This decision was the most impromptu decision of the year. In my mind, I was like “this better be worth the sacrifice” and was it?
I’m still at the Advertising school. I met the most awesome people this month. I remember skipping school to attend a hangout at Tarkwa Bay and it was the most amazing experience ever!!!! Let’s just say we are family now.
I’m done with the school. I graduate as the best CopyWriter for my set. My team wins the final pitch done at the school. I expect jobs to rush me. Did it? No! I almost got sad, I mean, I did get sad but not without hope. I had plans. I mean I was like I put in all my savings for this, it better yield its fruit. I don’t know if it did. I attended an interview where I felt worse after it. I hoped to be part of the people that got selected for the job but I was not. Fam, I was heartbroken.
I decide not to do a lot. I tell myself I’m resting from the stress of the Ad school I graduated from. I’m just meeting people and sharing stories and learning and taking each day as it comes. There’s pressure at home.
I have confidence in God more than I’ve ever done. I’m learning to take the day as it comes and let natural occurrences takes its course in my life instead of letting what’s in my head get in the way.
This year I wanted to connect deeply with myself, I did and I still am.
I cried a lot more this year. I experienced God better this year. This year was pretty interesting to say the least.
2019 is a continuation even though I don’t know why “INFLUENCE” has been a regular word in my heart for the year 2019.
I am quite confident that God is beyond the year. For 2019 I’m not starting anything I’ve not been doing. Does not mean I won’t start anything, it just means I’m not starting because the year is just starting. You understand?