I’m usually not the type to write resolutions for the new year, maybe because I’m scared I won’t see it through the end of the year, I just live everyday as it comes and try to be a better person, but you see 2018 has been eventful year. I’ve had best and worst days in 2018 and I can only be grateful to God for strength..
At the beginning of the year I asked God for direction on what I wanted to do with life, I had just finished NYSC and I felt like a defining stage in my life and I just wasn’t sure anymore, I know I had plans after school but after a really stressful NYSC year I wasn’t sure anymore
I decided I’d get a job while I was waiting for what to do next, first quarter of the year and there I was, unemployed! Like I’m not understanding, how hard is it to get a job? That’s when people came with their plenty advice, some even suggested marriage.. “shey your husband will still be the one to take care of you, bring the brother home”
Let me just tell you, I didn’t handle it well, my devotion was a mess! I’m like “God, shey you’re still hearing me like this”… Some days I just didn’t feel like praying. I cut off people off because I was tired of hearing “so what are you doing now?”.. I remember going to my dad and asked him.. “daddy, with all the people you know, how am I still unemployed?”
In June, I was called for an interview for a job I didn’t apply for, interview went well and I started working the next week..
And when it looked like things were beginning to fall in place.. I lost my dad.. I can’t tell you I didn’t question God! Like God why? He said he wanted to leave at 70 anyway, you couldn’t wait 8 years, no? I and my dad would make plans about my wedding day like it was the next month and even though I thought it was weird he’d pray for my boyfriend.. We talked about the craziest things!
It’s 4 months since he died and I can’t say I’ve come to terms with it, some days I and my siblings talk about how he’d react to a situation and laugh but I know that it would never be the same without him, there were days I cried shamelessly at work.. I’m sometimes jealous he’s in a such a peaceful place.. Its really hard to explain the pain because its not only emotional but my chest aches too..
I’m grateful for strength.. My crew had praise concert two weeks after my dad died and people were shocked to see me there and it occurred to me that it would have been understandable if I didn’t show up but I did because He is God in the good times and bad times.. I’m grateful for family and friends! I’m also grateful for good music! You don’t know how it helps you through the day! And to my amazing boyfriend! I can’t thank you enough! When my dad died, I felt really naked! But you see, God has been teaching me to trust him! 2019 seems exciting and daunting at the same time and I’m really hopeful!
In 2018, I have learnt that some times you can’t figure things out, things don’t work out the way you planned but God’s thought for you are always good! Doesn’t make sense but it’s for an expected end!
The end of the year is not the end of the journey and He’s still working on you! Keep trusting Him…