#My2019Story – Chigo Paul

I started 2019 as a fresh graduate. One who was grateful to finally be done with school but wasn’t excited about it because of her grades. I came out with a 2:2 and I’m sure you already know how anyone that graduates with less than 2:1 is looked at πŸ™„. People said the most Chai! One woman even told me that God is ashamed of meπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Me that was already depressed. For months after I left school, I was so unwilling to try out anything new because, what if I failed again?

“Chigo, so did you see the link I sent you?” my sister asked. “Here we go again”, I mumbled in my head. Of all the people that surrounded me, my unwillingness to do anything bothered my immediate elder sister most. She would send links and links to me and I would just read and not even acknowledge because, what’s the point? All of them wanted at least a 2:1 graduate which we all know I wasn’t. Why click on the links and be reminded of my predicament? However, if there was anything I wanted, it was to have a chance to work with GTbank. I would pass by any of their branches, smile to myself and say “one day”. I told everyone that cared to listen family, friends and foe. I’m very indecisive but, once I decide on what I want, it is what I want. Then, there was opening in GTBank for interns. My sister sent the link and fortunately, their requirements did not cross out graduates with 2:2. So, I summoned all the energy and positivism in me and clicked the link only to get to the space for guarantors and see that your guarantor must be a banker. One banker if from GTBank and two from another bank and my ginger just died because I know people from almost every field but you see that banking sector, I didn’t know nobody πŸ˜‚.

I just jejely left the site and continued with my sad life. I was pained sha. It was like looking at cake from afar! I gave up man! My sister kept on motivating me to keep trying so, I kept on searching for people… all the people we met were posting us. This one would say come today, that one would leave us on read. It was this period that I learnt that God doesn’t take the easy route, he likes to show off. He could have easily used one of those people we were putting all our hopes on but no, He raised someone else, someone we didn’t even rate to help us. She took me directly to her boss and after a few words, he signed my guarantor’s form. Someone I don’t know, someone that doesn’t know me signed guarantor’s form for me. I’ve never heard it. He was just seeing me for the first time that day😒 only God could have done it. That was how I landed into my dream internship. I worked with them till I had to leave for service. My first day at work, I was calm ehn, I’m sure they would have been like “Awwwn, this small calm child”, they did not know that it was shock that was doing meπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

People, what am I trying to say, God really doesn’t care about your earthly limitations… Certificates, age, skills, He doesn’t really! When He wants to take you somewhere, He does. So, dust yourself from where you are now, do the best you can do and watch how God would break protocols for you!

Graduation day… I was so thankful to God πŸ™‚

“Miss I need my own space” – that was me earlier this year. I would just wake up and plug earpiece in my ears. I distanced myself so much from my family, they thought I was suicidal. True, I was going through an hard time but shutting out people that care so much wasn’t the way, at least I know that now. Fast forward to late this year, my second sister had to leave home and I was the only one left. First week, nothing. Second week, I felt nothing, the going was strong with my earpiece. You see, after one month of no fights, lonely nights, no yelling about how scattered the room is, no nothing, my body start to tell me something. I began to see my folly. I realised that see, no matter how you want to look at it, no family is perfect because every family is made of human beings and there is really no perfect human! I think the fact that we didn’t choose our family, the fact that God thought “Oh This woman and this man would go together and these children, would fit them perfectly” should humble us, I’m sure we wouldn’t have chosen better if we were to choose. So, if you are reading this post and you are estranged with family or you are one of those that love your family from a distance maybe, in 2020, you can do things differently. I don’t know your story, I don’t know your reasons. I just know that when the going gets really tough, all you would have left is family. Acquaintances and friends would japa. See the Prodigal son, when life hit him hard, every body left o including ride or die, padlock love. Everybody left. And, if you are saying “aunty, you don’t understand, my family is not it at all se,” Well, what about the family of God that you belong to? Yes! Those ones that are praying continuously for you. Okay, your case is even worse, you don’t have… what about God, your Father, family that you can always rely on, what about him? Ehn? If there is anything I’ve learnt in 2019, it’s God would always come through for you, it might not be how you want him to but he would. Dare to trust him this new year.

2019 was my year of “God when?” πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. I was just God whening up and down at some point, it started to take my joy. Nobody in the whole world was single again except me. If I open this person’s status I would see “mine” with padlock. If I open another person’s status, I would see wedding pictures or “I said yes”. Only me did not say ‘yes’ this 2019. I’m exaggerating obviously but, that’s how I felt. It was during this period I learnt what social media break meant. I took a social media break, what I cannot see cannot affect me. I stayed offline for a while and came back more emotionally stable. I also started to mute the oppressors on my contact list. See, I was happy for them o, but, I just couldn’t let their happiness be the reason for my dissatisfaction in life.

So, yeah, if the noise outside is getting too much, take a break, clear your head, take your time to ensure that you are emotionally stable before you return, nobody would die because you went offline, I assure you.

When I started working like this, all I heard was save oh, invest o, save oooo! You see, I’m a baby girl, I love to chop life and since I like to chop life and I don’t know how to suffer, I started to save. But, at some point, I had to ask myself what I was saving for. It just felt like, I was gathering and gathering but, when people I was so certain would be around the next day started to die, I started to question my gathering. I mean, what’s the point of all these gathering. So, I saved but, I also started to give. I started to spend on myself. I gathered but, I gathered with the consciousness that I may not be here the next minute.

In conclusion,Β 
In this negative world, I beg you be positive. Try to be positive. Do not, I repeat do not place you joy in people or situations, be joyful despite all. As you see me like this, I’ve left myself at the feet of God with reckless abandon, you should do the same.

I love you and I wish you the best year yet. Thank you Ozy for giving me this opportunity, you know I love you sister 😍

9 thoughts on “#My2019Story – Chigo Paul

  1. This is so nice and totally relatable. Its amazing how we sometimes overlook the things we have and long for the things we want. We sometimes forget that our reality is someone else’s dream. I am glad you came out stronger and thanks for putting this up. Stay happy…Cheers

    Liked by 2 people

  2. When I was asking people to share, I didn’t think of her cos a prophet isn’t recognised in his hometownπŸ˜‚πŸ˜­

    But after a while, It hit me… She has a powerful 2019 story, lessons and beautiful skills to convey them so why not? I asked her… and she was oh so eager and sent it her piece the next day. When I read it, I asked her if she was okay being this open. She told me she struggled with it but that she was ready to be out with it, move past it, and encourage others with it. Wow! That brought tears to my eyes. So thank you sooooo much for sharing, Chigo.

    Pls read, share, leave her a kind comment and don’t forget to follow the blog so you don’t miss out on the amazing stories

    PS: She’s my actual sister. I’m the one she spoke of in her peice πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Wow
    This is so nice and definitely will help me in the next year.
    And aunty please why are you shouting at me in your family section😀. I’ve hear you

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lovely read…. thank you! I need that kind reminder that God is a show off and he doesn’t exactly do things the way we expect. I can take it to the bank that he always shows up!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Amazing, Chigo. Happy that God made everything good in His time. Thank you for sharing.

    Love this – “So, yeah, if the noise outside is getting too much, take a break, clear your head, take your time to ensure that you are emotionally stable before you return, nobody would die because you went offline, I assure you.”

    This is something I try to do. Hopefully, I do it more often when necessary. The pressure online can get overwhelming. Sometimes, it’s subtle but it’s still present.
    It’s a good thing to go off for a while and refocus on trusting God to do best for you always.


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