25th December, 2019.
I have been staring at my system for the past 30 minutes, unsure of how to start this. My 2019 had three seasons in one – Clarity, Growth, Thrive. My body feels like it’d lived nine lives.
Weeks before I completed NYSC, everyone but me was fixing their CVs, writing professional exams and the ultimate exam – IELTS. I was totally clueless on what to do next, so I told everyone I was going to focus on my sewing business. On the day of my Passing out Parade (popularly known as P.O.P), I told everyone not to ask the usual “what next?”, but did they listen? Absolutely not. I got all sort of unsolicited advice, “go for masters”, “husband nko”, “get a job”, etc. Did I listen? No! I’m grateful I didn’t.
In my cluelessness, I knew what I wanted but I honestly didn’t know which to start with. I spent more time sewing, praying and listening to messages on how to hear from God. I really wanted to get it right this time. This went on till June and the first thing dropped in a way I didn’t expect. I was talking to someone I didn’t use to like. I was initially skeptical but someone said something that struck with me – “If you need someone or something, get it. Whatever might be the issue is not worth the benefit of what you want”. I reached out to the person and things started falling into place from our discussion. If you are reading this, I’m grateful I reached out to you that night.
So, what next?
To be honest, the phase was really “we moveee!!” aka “we locomote” because that was what I was doing in the months that came after clarity, but I had to find a better title for it. I spent every day in this month sending job applications. I sent at least three applications every day. I spent my day sewing and my nights sending applications. Initially, no one was replying my mails, “Was my email smelling ni?” I once asked myself because it was frustrating, I bet no one hates being ignored more than I do, but we what? We moveeee!
I installed a mail tracker add-on to my Gmail so I could catch the people ignoring my mails. It hurt more because I was able to see the people ignoring me with their full chest. Hay God!
After what looked like a while, I started getting invites to interviews. Yaay! I remember my first interview, after filling thirteen forms, I really thought I was going to get the job. I started shopping for my new job. Got a bag and shoe, I was ready. The reply came in two weeks later and it was the type that starts with a little hype about your performance and ends with an apology. It hit me! But we what?? We moveeee! I ordered small chops and ate my pain away.
I had several disappointments after this, there was one I really thought I was going to get because the interview went well. I got home and started planning how I’ll spend my salary- I’ll get a wig, this dress and one fine bag I had been eyeing on Instagram. I got the email while I was waiting to be interviewed for another job. I took that pain into that interview and test and I got the job. Yaay, right? Nay! It was far from what I wanted. So, we what? You know already.
My favourite season! This season stretched my faith. Ah! If worrying was a sport in the Olympics, I’d have won several medals. The recruitment process of my current job gave me several sleepless nights. For every stage, I imagined them sending me home for not meeting the criteria. There was a phase that involved getting a phone call. I got it late after I had almost concluded, I typed in the wrong number while filling the form. I worried about everything but I had peace which was a little strange. It was a war in my head! I’m grateful for my friends for helping me survive this phase.
I did my medicals and the devil still reminded me of my fears. Edakun! what can go wrong after medicals please? To further mock my fears, I finally got a reply from a company I sent an application to a month earlier. They called for a phone interview and asked me to come for a physical interview. I was confused. Should I go for this interview, just in case I fail the medicals? What if I get this job and the other one comes through a month later, how do I resign? I slept off with a confused heart. I sent a mail of confirmation of attendance. I was going for the interview. I woke up the next morning with my peace withdrawn completely, I prayed about it and the word came. Gloraayy! It came in form of a story, the story of Abraham, Sarah and Haggai. Haggai was the result of impatience on Sarah’s part. The promise was clear and was going to be fulfilled. Sarah’s shortcut didn’t bring the promised child, did it? Fam! That was the confirmation I needed. I sent an email to cancel.
I got an email the next day; the one I did medicals for. It was the type of email that starts with CONGRATULATIONS! 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼My God did it!
Final words… Lessons learnt through it all:
- Sometimes, it is okay to not know what’s next. Don’t give in to pressure. It is okay to take breaks to strategise for what’s ahead.
- Don’t let people project their expectations on you. In this part of the world, people would always project their expectations on you. Everyone is doing one big thing or the other, don’t feel pressured. Understand seasons and time.
- Be focused on making more friends and less enemies. In this life, you need people! Don’t underestimate the impact of the right people in your life.
- You see this scissors culture we take pride in in this generation? Don’t do it. Forgive. Your next blessing might be tied to someone you cut off.
- Never miss the lessons that come with each phase. I was closer to God during this phase. I used the free time I had to build my spiritual life and I grew! Things I found difficult to understand/accept became clearer to me
- If God tells you to wait, please wait! He has something better coming.
- You can’t shortcut your way into receiving God’s blessings.
- Worry is a waste of emotions. Tell me one thing worrying has solved. See? It never solves anything