Hello! My name is Wilson.
Sometime in 2018, I decided that I was tired. I was tired of setting goals and not meeting up. I was tired of building friendships that I’d eventually just ghost on. I was tired of people genuinely thinking I was a great guy. I certainly did not feel that way.
So what did I do about it? I gave up.
I was almost always late to work despite living 15 minutes away. If you live in Lagos, you’d appreciate this as the Lagos dream.
Anyway, it’s the December of 2018, and people are talking about what they are going to do in 2019 and I was so pumped. I was excited for real, set up all these plans yet again. Then I remembered I was tired.
When I say I remembered, here’s what I mean: I’ve been trying this over and over again, with no change. What’s the point? Maybe I’m not just cut out for this adulting thing. The struggle was real. So I said, 2019 was my year of rest. I’m taking a break from adulting and resting. I sat back and looked at this decision again. If I quit my job, who’s going to feed me? If I quit going to church, shey devil will not use me to eat ogbono soup like this? 🤡🙆♂￼
Now this was really frustrating. I want this break but I don’t want to starve. So I just continued, like a zombie. Plans were made and they failed. I just continued.
I was at church one Sunday and praying about this matter, crying. Yeah, I cried a lot. When my pastor started teaching, I was sure the man had been watching my tape somewhere. Like, someone has been recording my life for the past 3 years and just gave him the recordings. Bruhhhh who are you sir?
I learnt a big lesson from that sermon. I wasn’t created to exist alone. I’m not an island. In ghetto language, ‘I no be one man army’.
This one hit me like Churchill did Hiroshima. God read my mind and made it a sermon. Mad oh!
I’ve barely had enduring relationships in my adult life. Once I got close, I’d withdraw. I realised this was a problem and decided to work on it.
Ladies and gentlemen, after about 5 months in 2019, I had a goal that I would see through, regardless. I was excited again. I tried. I reached out to old friends, I made new ones. I even went for a believers hangout and I did not die(it was hard. But hey, I’m here). I realised I had hurt people by just disappearing, and decided, NEVER AGAIN! At least, not consciously or intentionally anymore.
With these ones, I am going to face the world. Their pain became my pain. Their victory became mine too. It was no longer Wilson vs the the world. Things changed for me.
My life is not perfect. It’s certainly not where I had hoped I would be, but I know I’m on the right track now. So I’m making a new decision: to pursue goals, knowing there’s an army with me. These relationships have made my walk with God better too. Another message reminded me to hold on to prophecies. Most part of this year, I did not. But I have learnt. My life is better for it now.
So just before you start saying:
I’m going to summarise my year:
- I gave up but God came through.
- He came for me through people and I’ve established relationships as a result, strengthened others too.
- You no be one man army my G! God has blessed and surrounded us with some many amazing people. There’s support system if we care to look and open up ourselves to this love. Sometimes, its not even our family, sometimes it is friends… classmates… colleagues. We just have to be able to open up ourselves to love and receive the support that comes with it.
Hope this helps.